I'm about to turn 23... in less than two hours...

It's strange how I don't even really recognize my life these days. Most of all, I don't recognize the people. Lately, people have been walking in and out of my life without much permanence. On this night, on the eve of a day that I would normally be celebrating with best friends and family, one of my greatest wishes is to be reunited with someone I've come to hold in my heart as my spirit sister. I miss my spiritual friend.

Hindsight is the key to truly living and learning successfully. I am confident that I've managed some recent situations to the best of my ability. Sometimes we have to accept that there's just nothing more we can do. Boston will soon be a closed chapter in my life's book. The people I've known here are slowly beginning to fade in and out. While I still recognize this place, it's only because I've been walking through this city for 2 1/2 years now. I've walked around this town as a daughter, a girlfriend, a partner, a single young woman, a friend, a college student, an activist, an artist, and a sister. Lately, I've walked these streets of Boston as a woman. I've had conversations as a woman. I've conducted my life as a woman. Everything is changing so rapidly that I'm having a hard time absorbing all of it, but I'm doing my best. It's as if I can sense that I'll be leaving this place soon. By this time next year, I will be in an entirely new city, with an entirely new life... surrounded by people I am learning to know and to trust (or not), and I'll be learning to call it home.

I can't help but to look at this past year as one big lesson after another. Come to think of it, a psychic, spiritual advisor, and very close friend of mine told me that 2005 would be an extremely difficult year in my life. I remember hearing her words shortly after the New Year had begun, and felt as though I should brace myself for whatever might come my way. I'm not sure there was any amount of preparation I could have had for all that this year has encompassed, but isn't that how life is anyway? Every moment, we are presented with surprises and decisions. I've made some decisions that were unwise and ultimately detrimental to my wellbeing. However, it's the way that I've handled those unhealthy situations that have made me learn from them. There is a certain amount of pride in the fact that I can confidently say, "I have learned from this, and it won't happen again." When we are hurt more than we've ever been hurt, betrayed more times than is fair, it would be foolish to move forward without understanding what decisions we made that led up to that pain. What people did we invite into our lives that should not have been let in? This is not to say that I hold regret inside, but it does mean that I will never let it happen again.

The challenge I face now is to take all that I've learned and try not to let it turn me into a jaded skeptic. The challenge is to live freely, but with a new perspective. I must use my ability to survey people, places, and situations with more awareness. As I enter into a new year in my life, I am determined to rise above it all. I must value myself for what and who I am -- for all that I am capable of achieving.

Here's to my journey into the life of an unstoppable woman. Cheers.
Happy Birthday to me... once it strikes midnight, that is.